A Reader wrote:
Hi everyone. I'm a foreign student who is currently studying in America. When I first came to the USA it was ok, I made some friends and people were very impressed by my speaking skills, 'cause they said I did not have any accent, stuff like that and I made some great accomplishments by getting into my school's student leadership program, and some teachers were very impressed by thoughtful answers.
Anyway, as time passed I have been not feeling well, I felt very out of place, and the friends I made felt very superficial, and I felt I could not trust them. Then when I got more separated from them I felt it is very difficult for me get close to people again, I did not shy away from some random conversations. Then I felt like I wanted to be acknowledged but when I got the acknowledgment I did not want that and I just backed away.
As time progressed I found myself with no true friend here, but that is not the issue, and then I started losing interest in what I was doing, like my studies went down. I felt very terrified to approach teachers and ask them questions to help me out with problems so on. And then I stopped doing my lessons at all. I felt nothing, I felt so empty. I felt nothing will fill the void inside of me. Then one day I did not go to school at all I just stayed in bed the whole day, it felt so comfortable yet also at same time not very assuring, and I felt more comfortable staying home so basically I started not going out at all for few days. And deep inside something was eating me, I did not even want to share this info with my family or my close friends, I felt they would not understand.
And there were days I thought things that were not pleasant, I felt jealousy towards and hatred towards someone I love, and sometimes I thought of living all alone not worrying about anything, and there was one time when I thought about ending my life.
That's when I went to a therapist, and I was diagnosed with depression.
I just want to know did anyone ever felt same things as i did, wanted to be alone, felt nobody would understand me (not in a EMO way), or thought about taking your life. 'Cause I heard on many occasions that left handed people are more prone to diseases similar to depression.
Help
December 5, 2007
14 comments:
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It is good that you sought help for your depression. Everyone has felt this kind of feeling, but not everyone can help themselves out of depression. Best of luck and may God shine upon your path.
ReplyDeleteYou put things down very well. That was me in my 20's. I didn't understand how others were getting on with their lives and had nothing but fear. Things will get better. Your energy and positive thoughts will return. This may re-occur, I call it the brain flu. It is like my brain has a cold or flu and it just has to pass. Medication may help. You are very courageous going to another country to learn a language. Stepping out of your comfort zones. Keep moving forward. Use your therapist to get better. Good Luck
ReplyDeleteHi! I just ran across your page as I was doing a little research on left handed items and articles. You have hit a subject that had me up past midnight last night. I too am left handed and have been diagnosed with depression. My latest post is just about the same topic.
ReplyDeleteYou're a da Vinci. Majority of left handers follow a group called the da Vinci type. Channel your energy into something productive and you should be all right. We don't connect with people because we think on our right side of our brain. One can say that we are in our right mind. You don't feel a connection with others because only 10% of the world is left handed. Pretty lonely huh? But don't worry, some of the most successful people in the world are left handed. Tom Cruise, Bill Gates, Oprah, Bill Clinton.
ReplyDeletei can relate to feeling different. because out of my six people family, i am the only lefty and wanting to stay away from deep relationships because of similar circumstances as yours; however i lable it as me trying to understand myself first before i let someone else in my life. therefore, i think your depression has some but not complete relation to why you have it. And like the rest of the world you just have to find a way to move on with your life.
ReplyDeleteHi, there.
ReplyDeleteI do believe we, left handed, can sometimes be more open to whatever we stumble across. I've heard, you too I'm sure, that we left handed people are more creative than others. being creative is also about letting other people and happenings into our lives. Doing so, might end up that we feel less about ourself because we focus on others more than usual (right handed). Just a thought. And yes, I have been depressed too. Not fun, but a change to learn a lot, if you use your therapist the right way.
Good Luck!!
WR Jim
Hi all. I am left handed, too. But i do have certain period live in my own world, thinking that others couldn't understand my feelings, especially the fear to something, perhaps i am a negative-thinker, I'm always wanted to hide myself in my room, which the only place that can makes me feel secure and comfortable. I always feel not willing to go for my classes, and this cause my friends made an assumption that i was lazy. But i wont blame them for that because i will try to think positively in everything and it works. So, cheer up!(Sorry for my broken English.)
ReplyDeleteWOW. I am a lefty and while reading your story I felt relieved and a connection as well. I went to college (vcu school of the arts) in 03 and the almost identical story happened to me. You described it better than I could have. I can especially relate to the period where you couldn't trust your friends, and you felt they were superficial even though through it all they always invited me places and checked up on me. I feel better to know I wasn't alone in my experience. I agree with my fellow lefties in that when you channel your energy into something interesting and time consuming(besides video games) youll weather through. again THANKS for sharing now I know im not crazy.
ReplyDeleteI am diagnosed as having severe depression and I am happiest when I am using my creative juices. Since Kindergarden, Art has been my favorite subject. I can always remember wanting to venture into Photography and my mom telling me it would only ever be a hobby and would be too expensive. I finally went for it and received my associates in Commercial Still Photography with an emphasis in Fine Art Photography, and when I am shooting or in the darkroom, there is no happier, more content place for me. Ever since I remember, I have had issues with closeness even with the closest of family. This is my 1st visit to left-hand.org and I am SO relieved to find so many related stories.
ReplyDeleteIs anyone else a lefty AND a Gemini? Was there ever any chance for us?! LOL
Hey, I am a 16 y.o.teen and I read your article and believe me that isn't the worse case for us lefties. When I was small I was always happy and creative, smart but now I feel sad depressed, I just feel like being alone and my family is separated plus we barely talk. My dad isn't a big help either. So I get angry then my rage fills my heart with depression and believe me that's worse. Finally from all this I think it makes my muscles contract a lot (being nervous) and I shake when I'm angry or stressed. So far I think I've been like this for 7 years. Anyways it's nice to open up a bit .
ReplyDeleteSame here, it started when i was 15. It is still an on going ordeal. I disconnect myself from everything. Then I feel bad for doing it. When I was in college it was bad. I would just lie in bed all day wishing I had gone to class, that I had friends, a girlfriend, whatever everybody else had. You name it. The best way I found to overcome it is to make up some little saying. Example: (this is mine, you can make up your own) A duck excretes oils into its feathers. if the duck did not then its feathers would absorb water and it would drown. Some people get it at first. Just think about mental oils. Your brain has its own pharmacy. Most drugs for depression and other mental illness are designed for left brain chemistry. I have had adverse effects with most drugs that have been prescribed to me. Has anyone ever had this happen to them?
ReplyDeleteSpecial privileges are granted to many people in the same way.So my optimistic prayer is that let the lord bless you more with lots of luck.
ReplyDeletehahaha..damn.thank god .it's mean that i'm not crazy.same situation for me,lefty and foreigner university student in japan.i've been feeling like that right now(22years old).i felt angry in the inside.thanks for sharing.sorry for my english
ReplyDeleteBuildings are expensive and not everyone is able to buy it. Nevertheless, mortgage loans are invented to aid people in such kind of cases.
ReplyDelete